Making the news more interesting...

The news can be boring. It requires us to think. But I've developed a new form of journalism that sexes things up a bit. Here's an example... an original passage from the AP:

DeLay seemed at pains to soften, if slightly, his rhetoric of March 31, when Schiavo died despite an extraordinary political and legal effort to save her life.

"I believe in an independent judiciary. I repeat, of course I believe in an independent judiciary," DeLay said.

At the same time, he added, the Constitution gives Congress power to oversee the courts.

"We set up the courts. We can unset the courts. We have the power of the purse," DeLay said.
Asked whether he favors impeachment for any of the judges in the Schiavo case, he did not answer directly.

Good enough, but not very sexy. Watch what happens with just a few little changes:

DeLay seemed at pains to soften, if slightly, his rhetoric of March 31, when Schiavo died despite an extraordinary political and legal effort to save her life.

"I believe in an independent judiciary. I repeat, of course I believe in an independent judiciary," DeLay said, grabbing a virgin clad in white, embracing her, and sinking his teeth into her creamy-white neck.

At the same time, he added, the Constitution gives Congress power to oversee the courts.

"We set up the courts. We can unset the courts. We have the power of the purse," DeLay said while wiping the blood off his face. Asked whether he favors impeachment for any of the judges in the Schiavo case, he did not answer directly, but cackled, raising his cape before him and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Now that's news! It's late, I must go to sleep. By morning I expect several lawsuits.