God has a sense of humor...

Take a look here: http://www.stuffmagazine.com/cover_girls/girl.aspx?id=329 . That's Vanessa Marcil, an actress on the show "Las Vegas." You're thinking, "OK, Greg. Thanks for letting me in on your latest spank session." Well, smartass, you've got it all wrong. The reason I'm showing you this women is because something about her past floored me. What is it? Did she grow up in my hometown? Did we go to the same university? Did she give me herpes? No, no, and the jury's still out on the last one. All kidding aside (though herpes isn't that funny to those who have it. Just ask Bob Dole.), the thing that surprised me... no, downright befuddled me... is that she was married to Corey Feldman. That's right, that Corey Feldman. The guy so inconsequential that I haven't even checked if I spelled his name right (and I'm a perfectionist). I guess it just goes to prove that God has a sense of humor, or else that youth and alcohol lead to bad decisions.

So, my single friends, you needn't fret. One day you may meet a hot piece of T&A much better than you in almost all ways imaginable (though you do do that thing where you can put your whole fist in your mouth, and that's pretty impressive), and his/her judgement may be clouded enough to agree to share the same bed with you. A cautionary note: Mrs. Feldman went back to being Ms. Marcil after just three years, and apparently later got engaged to that whatshisface Austin Greene guy from "90210". I didn't check the spelling on his name either. You've gotta wonder if she just doesn't hang around the unemployment line in Hollywood.

Good luck, my friends. May the force of Feldman be with you.