Random bits...

I'm a side sleeper. I can only sleep comfortably on my side, preferably with a beautiful woman nearby. At any rate, I've recently found that if I try to sleep on my back, I'm guaranteed to have nightmares.

Just last night I found myself confronted in my sleep by all the women who I've rejected over the years. While individually they were no threat, together they inspired a cold sweat that woke me up as soon as the first punch was thrown.

This could all have something to do with my diet, I suppose. Since I work nights, it's not unusual to be scarfing down nachos at 3 a.m. Bed by 5 a.m., and there's some early mornin' digesting going on. Something about being flat on my back must inspire nightmares... odd, my last girlfriend said the same thing.

I really want to go out and swing dance. I took some classes last year, but it's difficult to find a place and people that work on my schedule. Swing dancing works for guys, because it's not gyration-based, like most modern dancing.

Simply put, women have a much easier time at dancing because they have various areas to shake. Wiggle and rub your butt against someone and suddenly you're Jennifer Lopez. A guy has very little to wiggle, aside from a beer belly. Few of us have any asses to speak of, and bitch tits are frowned upon.

In short, women, take pity on your dance partner. He's doing the best he can. Unless it's not a he at all. And then you can just go on doing that lesbian thing you do so well... Wait, are you still here?